Post by sonjauk on Nov 25, 2016 13:38:08 GMT -8
This is the phonecall that I couldn't get on.
Why Wealth magic now?
We can't speak from that 'commanding' places because we don't realise it is an entitlement ; it isn't always an option that we know exists.
Why do I desire to activate my magik? Because I want to live in fullness. I want to fully express and inhabit all of my current womanliness. I want to activate all of my capabilities and acquaint myself with all that exists within me below the surface - maybe some would consider it shadow work. Consistently, I want to explore myself and see how different my life could be when I choose to live differently and deviate from what I consider to be the norm.
I'm not feeling in my power today - I have learned this year in particular that when I'm not at my best and I choose to rest things still get done. Previously, I felt that I always had to be on top of things and even when I was feeling really unwell, I would force myself to be active, engaged and 'doing' something. I had a fear that if I didn't 'do something' things would fall apart and there would be some calamitous event. Now I rest, I listen to my body, I work in sync with my body and its rhythms. I'm able to do this as I have developed a sense of trust in life, I realise I don't have to control things, and I am aware that I am actively practicing self-love when I choose not to punish my body by doing things that 'have to be done'. I am prioritising me.
I remember trying to get on this call over and over again, and then resigning myself to it (my will not being fulfilled), and then looking at the New Year's sales. I was initially pretty frustrated as I wanted to come out of my cave and participate and integrate with people, in particular sisters who are developing themselves. BUT...having listened to the call - I was not ready. You were asking some hard questions and I would have been entirely out of my depth. There are things I have experienced and overstand now, that I had not grown into at the beginning of the year.
Worry comes from not living in your purpose - lack of engagement.
Being in your power - Significantly that is pretty close to my theme this month. I was watching a TEDtalk and the woman used the phrase "Own your Greatness " and I thought "yes, I'll use that". I owned it, and then spent time struggling with it. I began to have this internal dialogue where I'd qualify and explain (to no-one in particular) that I didn't mean it in an egoic way, that it meant owning my abilities...blah, blah, blah. A part of me thought it was shameful to own my I-ness, and yes, my Greatness, but I've managed to get that part in check.
Seeing what has always been there - Synchronicities. Over the past year the amount of synchronicities has increased significantly to a conspicuous level. Sometimes they are pretty minor, other times there is a pattern of numerous events which work together so beautifully, so harmoniously that I can only conclude: "that's divine". And at some stage I started to question whether it was a new phenomenon or whether it was something that had always been ticking in the background and I've been so blinded with my concepts of control, what should and should not be, that I couldn't see it.
'Deserving' is about creating a measure which we can say we don't measure up to in order to affirm that we're not worthy.
The section on the necessity of grief was both moving and powerful. Sister Safiar's declaration was also, and you could feel that it was coming from a very deep place, the statement that I shall no longer be subject to this - a turning-point.
I am magnificent because I am here mentally, emotionally and spiritually intact. And on paper I really shouldn't be.
The magik doesn't require my belief, but now that I have experienced it I know that it is real and it shifts from being a concept or idea to something tangible.