Post by sonjauk on May 1, 2015 10:28:49 GMT -8
I didn't have any strong emotional response to the opening quotes; instead my mind was like 'show me the way!' This is a totally different approach/understanding of how we should relate to money and I wanted to fully understand it, not just understand the words in a bookish way but rather see it as a truth within myself.
The Diva law I wasn't so sure about. I recognise the part about our relationship to our worries and fears, and overstand that we have the power to transform this relationship. But the giving is receiving and receiving is giving I wasn't so sure about. However, I think this is a personal bias or difficulty as I have spent sometime addressing poor relationship patterns where I give too much and receive too little/nothing in return. I know you shouldn't give in order to get, but having spent all my life at the opposite end of the spectrum I know it will take some time for me to wrap my head around this concept.
" give openly from your Magnificence without fear or restraint" Fear, restraint, need, lack and scarcity are poor (!) places to be living from. To make decisions about what you can or cannot do, achieve and attain with these concepts as your guiding principles mean that your wings will always be clipped. Sadly, you cannot see this and would never be able to comprehend that YOU are the force holding yourself back. So with reference to the Byron Katie quote I feel that the message is stop feeling that I need X before I can take a chance, try something new etc etc.
I am probably the most risk adverse person on the planet. My life is all about certainty and safe options. Recently I have been watching the tv series, Soul Food, around the part where Terri calls a meeting with the partners at her firm to reconsider their decision not to make her partner. I watched this storyline with great interest as I could see a woman demonstrating knowledge of her worth; it was as if all the books, quotes and positive affirmations I had been reading were being summed up in these scenes. This woman knew her worth and would make it clear that if the partners didn't know her worth she would exit gracefully knowing she would be doing right by herself. Well, in honesty, I would never have done that. I would have weighed up the options and chosen the certainty of a job with a possible promotion next year and proceeded to put in more extra hours. The next year, when I didn't get the promotion I would have been tired, frustrated and despondent. But most significantly, I would have blamed 'them', it would have been 'their' fault and I would never have seen that I had failed to exercise my power.
The question to me became: why have you spent time trying to convince people of your worth or value? Putting in extra hours or trying to be the best girlfriend : surely, if you can't see my value, you won't whatever I do and I have to honour myself but putting myself in the situations where I will be seen for who and what I am. Subconscious fear has been a contributing factor, as well as a feeling of lack of opportunity. My thinking has been ’I have to try and make this situation work because when else will I get another opportunity?'. I guess this is another manifestation of scarcity thinking.
Interestingly, for me it was a cascade of crises that lead me to seek out something new. I would love to say that I was seeking out my birthright of inherent prosperity when problems occurred that got in the way but the truth is I'm not that advanced. My way of thinking had not elevated to the point where I believed I had the right to consider my needs as an option. I was concerned with my responsibilities and resolving family issues. Life was showing me things, but I was too consumed to notice, it took the force of a hurricane, Oya, for me to really sit up and see the bigger picture: I needed to dedicate myself to me, ensuring that my desires and needs were being met, and at least, staring to walk on the path towards my personal fulfilment. Knowing this it's a lot easier to be at peace within the storm because I overstand there is a direct relationship between the severity of the storm and my previous inability to listen to life's little hints and nudges.
Fortunately, I don't feel any urgent needs. This is in no way an indication that I am floating through life. Currently, my financial situation is worse than when I enrolled; when I check my bank account I see a 4 figure sum, preceded by a minus! But it feels ok, because I am learning that I can survive within this situation. Granted I have had to make some savvy decisions regarding money but my standard of living is pretty much the same. My biggest fear was always being broke, well now I'm living it and beyond, as I'm in debt, but the sun hasn't fallen out of the sky. I have always bought my personal care items whilst on promotion so consequently, I have enough to see me through for the next few months. Also, this has allowed to to clear out a lot of old products that I didn't even know I had; this too is a blessing, getting rid of old things and old energies. Thirdly, the most fundamental lesson is about what I can have or do. Previously, I had denied myself things because I felt I couldn't really afford them, but I now see that if I can live decently whilst on half my income, the world is potentially my oyster when I get my back payment and regular income. Also having freed myself from allowing difficult circumstances to become stressors, I have freed up mental energy that I can direct towards the things that are important to me.
Evidence of prosperity - over the past few months I have noticed the synchronicities in my life. I was tempted to say increased synchronicities, but I feel that they were always there and I was just too caught up with the way that I though things should be, to see them. I have made it a practice to express gratitude at the end of each day, which makes me aware of how things are working out positively. Having established this practice, I wasn't really enthused with the idea of documenting it. However, this question struck me quite powerfully : "What does the evidence you collect tell you about who you already are in your wealth magik?"