Thank you for the vote of confidence, everyone, especially since you know the diva, the shadow diva, the warty diva, as well and the light bright pink juicy diva Carla!
My comment was a professional evalution, the bedrock of my decision making process as I go back to clean up, and I stand by it on those grounds. As soon as the old shit/gold is appropriately disposed of, I will take Diva Carla, work of art, back into studio, to float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
Post by nejahlovediva on Jan 5, 2010 8:51:40 GMT -8
What u have been, are now and becoming more of iz always a perfect match to what you are thinking and feeling. Okay Abraham just got channeled through me in that second. Hey Carla I had a few checks in like thiz last week when someone said to me, Don't you know how powerful you are. I hesitated and said really? but I checked in and said, Yes I AM. and the power iz not based on what I'm doing, have done or will do in the future. The I AMness iz the infinite Love Beauty I AM at my core. ;D I guess our shadow side just need to be reminded when they forget
Today I went through all the old sketchbooks and stacks on the table, and returned the majority to the shelf, but now I have an sense of what is there, and where I put it. I tossed some scrap and trash and sorted. Some of it can be given away to friends and family because they are the subjects. There is now room for new supplies and new work to be stored. And I have a few new ideas to simmer, based on what I discovered in the piles.
There were many newsprint pads full of figure drawings. Some seemed like good drawings, or at least interesting. I remember every model, and numerous anecdotes from the classes. Startling was the occasional drawing or portrait of my sons or husband in the sketchbooks. Even some of my students, and one strange portrait one of them did of me.
There were many more self portraits than I remembered. They are all in one place now. Most surprising were pastel landscapes. I've never considered landscape a strength, and these are good! 15 years was kind to them. Many of them are not finished.
I found dream drawings that may want to become paintings. Water color, acrylic on paper, and strappo works. The strappo pieces (the moon paintings Deb referred to earlier) are a beautiful body of work- except that they are technically inadequate: cracked, crazed or otherwise unsuitable for sale or exhibit. But I am wondering if these ideas and images can have new life as paintings. I am feeling the paintings more than sculpture, as I have for several months now. Partly why cleaning the studio is urgent. I really need to set up painting in the studio rather than dining room.
So much energy from my younger self: my entire history as an artist post child birth. Intense. Not to mention the stray mementos: cards in my mother's handwriting, family reunion photos. Portraits of old boyfriends, husband, children. A drawing of my father. A painting of Brendan. Sketch books of drawings of Hale-Bopp comet, the moon and planets.
And my first drawings of Camden, Maine on watercolor postcards. Our vacation in Canada and Maine. The back of one Postcard says, "Steve woke me up this morning saying Brendan is dying. I rushed downstairs and sure enough, he was..."
Yep, intense. I need sage, water, singing, body work...
Diva Carla, you are magnificent because YOU BE ART!
It doesn't matter what you do, where you be...It's all art.
Sometimes slapping a big fat brush with too much paint on all the walls. Sometimes painting the most detailed portrait as you adore someone with your words. Sometimes carving into the depths.
TOUCHING ART is such an appropriate name...description. And your ART that touches...isn't always done with a paint brush, pencils, or clay. Many times it's your words, your touch, or even just the energy of sitting with you. I hope to feel that art one day.
Post by Diva Mentor Jane on Jan 6, 2010 7:31:15 GMT -8
Let's have it........the hard part, the part where you are looking at all the bits and pieces of your life, your past loves, your past self..the bits and pieces that you've hung on to for years and years........the pictures, the notes, the letters, the art. Of ancestors and others who have touched you along the way.
Grieving as you look at and mourn who you were back then and yet, celebrate who you are now......or maybe wonder at how far you feel you still have to go. Feeling stupid or is it naive for your innocence, your wanting.............to be loved, cherished, held and now.......knowing that it's your Divine right to be so loved, cherished, held.
All of the messiness of the process you are in right this minute. It is a POWERFUL time, and a time of cleansing on so many levels.......I acknowledge you for your courage in this process and send you and hugs too as the circle holds you through your growing pains!
Thank you Divas for your support as I move this energy. Report from the studio:
I cleaned another corner and the window wall, literally washing with an essential oil for Purification, and gathered some dead paintings, drawings, papers and trash for a burn. While there is more cleaning and some practical organization yet to be done, I have shifted the energy of the studio. It was intense muckity muck today. I employed lots of sage, a feather, and now have a beautiful crystal array moving out the energy. My pal John who knows about crystals and gave me many of the ones I have suggested yellow and pink.
I moved the work table by the windows, and covered it with a red cloth. I have rose quartz surrounding an array of yellow citrines, some amber, and some tiger eye, with a clear quartz point in the center, and a semicircle of quartz points pointing out the doors and windows. A piece of obsidian and a piece of black tourmaline are gathering the energy from the rest of the room and sending it through the array.
I gathered all the stuff for trash and burned it outside just now.
I walked in the room a while ago and it is clean as a whistle. The energy is singing. The rest of my house is getting this treatment! The Land too!
Yes more work to do, but the passages are clear. That's amazing!
Post by nejahlovediva on Jan 6, 2010 19:23:54 GMT -8
Hey Carla & All
Yes its amazing what a good cleansing ritual can do! U talking about your crystals reminded me of mine that have been buried in my backyard for several months now. I had most of them in my office and I put them out back to cleanse their energy. But I noticed I waz more calmmer when they were gone. I think alot of earth energies in thiz part of the house waz to stimulating for me. When I got my Feng Shui annual update last Febuary by Katar Diamond she said, the Northwest direction which iz my office area needs metal so az not to cause health problems and sadness. Its interesting because thiz room used to be my fathers room, and when she first did her evaluation she said, this area can cause head problems for older males if not balanced corrected. I played with alot of her suggestions with great results. She told me we have a reverse house which iz not good for health or relationships so it needed a virtual mountain out front and water out back. Well, the two boulders on the front lawn have shifted alot of my relationships and money got flowing even more so when I put the fountain out back. I'm due for another anual update next month, I wonder what changes I'm due for Oh! another thing she told me my best direction to sleep in waz NS and my worst direction iz WE which waz how I waz sleeping before I moved out to the living room to sleep. Don't you know I feel more well rested and less anxious when I wake up. Although I suspect it also haz alot to do with not sleeping with alot anxiousness and negativity to And it doesn't hurt to have 3 not 4 cat bodies sleep with me Yesteday morning I woke up to find the Mama cat only surviving kitten sleeping at the end of the bed with Bodhi. It poked up its head looking at me looking at him. It used to be scary but its warming up to me now that were sleeping together ;D But even before when I would sometimes fall asleep on the futon in the living room it always felt good. But now that you talked about Space clearing that's a good idea for me to to also.
But I can't begin to explain how making this decesion haz already cleared alot of stagnant energies already. I think its because I finally started trusting, listening and honoring my own authentic feelings. Before I waz always doubting and second guessing myself, mainly because I didn't want to take what seemed like the easy way out and miss the opportunity to grow, heal and unconditionally love myself by facing my own inner demons and shadows. Thiz relationship haz strecthed me in ways that I never thought possible and we both have grown to love ourselves more. And that's why I know its time because Love wants uz both to move on out of Love not hate. Right now I'm just feeling my way little by little.
My friend/prayer partner Maribel iz a real estate broker and yesterday she came over to my house and iz going to give an estimate about the value of the house for free. Were starting an affirmative prayer, chanting and meditation group on the phone probably once a week. Music, chanting, prayer and meditation rock my soul at a deep level. It came to me several weeks ago in meditation and I told her about it and it all seems to be all clicking. I went over her house and we meditated and collaged our vision for the group. And Yesterday we did a mindmap of thiz vision and opened ourselves for more to show up. Maribel told Joseph a man from the Fianancial Freedom clazz we all just completed at Agape and he excitely said he wanted to join. So where off and running. It all feels good and naturally organic. And after I complete 2 more classes I'll be entering if all goes according to plan my practioner studies. So everything iz unfolding in divine order and it feels God good! My mantra for a month now haz been I'm open and available for all the good that iz here and all the good that iz continualing to unfold. Take care. and keep uz updated on what's unfolding and revealing itself az your going through thiz incredible shift. ;D